Wildlife update

There's an all-day all-night froggie fiesta going on in our pond! Yes folks it's party-time for frogs and, if you're a frog that means making lots more little frogs. And if you don't drown each other in the process then, hey, that's a bonus!

[we actually thought two of the little blighters had strangled one of the females in the act -as it were - so went to remove her from the pond in a dignified manner. This meant removing them as well since they were BOTH still grabbing hold! Only to be met with furious kicking and leaping. All three offenders live and well and hopping back to the pond as soon as they could! I'm sure I heard resentful mumbling.....]

The fish think it's hilarious!

Dan's Doins & Nicky's ..........

hmmm I really have no idea what Nicky's adventures could be called!
Anyway, here we are well into 2010 and I'm having discussing with work about going back so my maternity leave must be coming to an end. My but hasn't that gone quick!

But then somehow I don't feel like it ever really got going. My memories of Dan at this stage were that we had our days fairly well planned and a routine going. We did swimming and Jolly Babies and post-natal group and baby group: all at defined times. We had a time of day when I went out (generally to help Dan sleep) even if it was just for a walk. This time round, well Nicky has just started at Jolly Babies but other than that structure seems to be very hit and miss. Maybe it's because it is the second child (who doesn't automatically sleep when taken out!); maybe it's because we're in a new town where there are less options - the post-natal group runs for 6 weeks instead of 6 months! Maybe it's because Rik's been at home "between contracts" since the beginning of the year which makes every day feel like the weekend - if you know what I mean. But I do feel like I'm missing some structure to the day. Equally though it's been nice not to have to get myself and children up and out of the house by 8.30 - or earlier. How on earth am I going to do that? Ah well, I do have a couple of months to syke myself up.

As for the boys' particular exploits. Dan had a birthday - you probably knew that.

He enjoyed his first ever birthday party (at home with his three "best" friends from nursery - I kept it small!) and it went very well. He has two states of being; asleep and talking! And I can't believe he's starting school in September (probably the local state school - lack of contract over the past 8 weeks has made Cathedral School a bit of a longshot).



Nicky has just worked out how to roll onto his front with his clothes ON! But is suffering a bit at the moment with the whole teething thing. He woke up twice last night - not that he normally sleeps through anyway (one big difference from Dan!) - in need of cuddles and milk. And we'll probably have to start the solid food soon: he's looking very interested in the whole idea!

When he can manage it though he's generally a very happy chappy who giggles and gurgles - particularly when his big brother starts jumping around. Can you believe he's already 5 months old - where did the rest of 2009 go?

So there we are. Hopefully Rik will find another contract soon. He's beginning to get very anxious about it all though there do seem to be lots of opportunities out there. It's just a question of finding one which fits him and which he fits into. The best option at the moment seems to be a year (or more) with another part of the organisation he was working for previously. That means he'd be based in Reading again which is not absolutely ideal since it would be lovely to have him closer to home and able to help out with things like school runs but if that's what there is; that's what we'll have to do. He was even looking at going off to Warrington for half of the week just in a desperate attempt to find something - so Reading is a definite plus!

And I'll probably be back at work after Easter ... depending on childcare arrangements. If you've been following Facebook you'll know the slight hiccup in getting Nicky into nursery with Dan. I've found one childminder who could take him for the full three days until nursery has space but I wasn't awfully impressed with her. I visited another today who is absolutely lovely - but only has space on Thursday which means I need to find something for Mon/Tues. I did speak to a third childminder who had space for those days but when I've tried to get in touch with her again to arrange a visit she's not returned my calls - doesn't bode well. Oh dear ..... Still at least I know work can be a bit flexible about my working arrangements if necessary and - though far from ideal - it would be possible to do some work at home with Nicky on floor beside me whilst he's this young ...... JUST!

And we have Nicky's christening to look forward to: though the Church's idea of having it on Mother's Day may be back-firing as several of my guests are saying they have other commitments with their own mothers! Ah well; as long as some of you turn up it'll be fine :-)

Xmas Ideas P.S

I have just realised Nicky's head is too big for all his hats;

cos of course when I was using said hats the first time round it was coming into Spring so I didn't really use them for that long and never bought any bigger ones.

I think, however, this time round more will be needed. 0-3 months probly best.

Xmas ideas for the K-Ms

If it's not too late cos I was alarmingly informed today that Christmas is now just 4 weeks away ... really...?!

Anyway. Let's start with the easy ones
Daniel
Anything that involves the alphabet or numbers. He's just starting to recognise and learn them.
Extra pieces for his wooden train track (this is the Tesco one which is now readily available anywhere)
A Scooter - fold-up if poss but not essential.
Pyjamas: age 2-3 or 3.
Clothes generally. Tops age 3; trousers aged 2-3
Wall calendar - hopefully this link will explain what we mean!
http://www.bloomingmarvellous.co.uk/product.aspx?CategoryID=toys&ProductID=44459_BLU&language=en-GB

Nicky
He's so young, it's difficult to say....
Anything you think appropriate will probably be fine :-)
If you want to get clothes I'm guessing he'll still be in 0-3 months come Crimbo.
He would probably like something new to look at on his activity mat

Rik n me
Okay, the only thing I have from R at the moment is wine glasses (we seem to have a lost a few recently!) and port glasses (both broken). Port also good :-)

For me, to be really boring I could do with some new bath towels (the big ones) - you know the colours I like. And given that our bedroom is a bit chilly I'd really like to satisfy a long-running wish and have a bedspread. Either a plain satiny one or one of those floral ones that places like the Radio Times does. (I know I said Mum was boring asking for sheets - sorry!)

One of those protectors you put on the back of car seats - I've just realised Dan has covered the back of my passenger seat in footprints .... thanks hon!

Other than that, Homebase or Focus vouchers good since we're still getting the house sorted.
The new Michael McIntyre DVD
Cranford DVD
Sex & The City DVD
Anything from Bravissimo

My boys

That was the week that was

For those of you that want the detail of the somewhat traumatic events of last week.
Monday
as planned, booked into St Michaels for the Section. The hours of waiting we were expecting to go into theatre never materialised; we were first on the list (perhaps this is the advantage of booking early??) and shortly after 9am I was walked to theatre by a fairly cute(ish) anaesthetist's assistant called Mike. [Unfortunately there was a general lack of cute anaesthetists - mine was a woman. As was the surgeon doing the section; and most of her SHOs...... in fact of the five consultants I saw over the next two days, two of them were women. Maybe obstetrics is where women are getting in .....anyway] Everything went pretty much as planned. Getting the spinal in not quite as easy this time round (maybe this was to do with lack of cute anaesthetist?) but off we went to the strains of Sgt Pepper on the CD Player. Seemed to take a long time to get the wee man out - though according to the notes it took 3 minutes so maybe it was just me! A few minutes of tension waiting for the wail (his initial Apgar was only 5 and he needed a bit of air) but then things improved and Nicholas Lloyd made his presence felt. Then things seemed to go a bit awry. Apparently my womb was just not behaving and wouldn't accept that it's job was done and it was time to come down. I think I was first aware (still being awake obviously) that things not going smoothly when I heard slightly urgent questions from the registrar: "Can we get Mr Mills?" and then "Is Mr Mills on his way?". The next significant step was being told that my womb was not contracting and they wanted to put me under general anaesthetic to try and sort it out. Obviously at this point, Nicky was taken away from me and, as Rik put it, they were both "shooed out of theatre". I do remember feeling rather disappointed at being put under if we were so close to finishing but on reflection, they weren't at the sowing up stage yet so they weren't that close at all! And all this before 10.15 in the morning ........ Next thing I know I'm in recovery ( i think). It's all going to get a bit hazy from here on in. I don't remember much from this stage except having the general disorientating feeling of just waking up from anaesthetic and being aware that there were lots of people around - and none of them were Rik. Where is Rik? Who is looking after Rik cos he's going to be on the verge of collapse. And I seem to have extra needles sticking into me - where did they come from? There was a conversation with a doctor about bleeding (assumably mine) and suddenly I'm being asked to sign consents to back into theatre for "another go". The word hysterectomy is mentioned: my only reaction is to think well I have two kids and at least I wouldn't have to worry about getting Rik a vasectomy. Not so bad ....... Rik appears. He's not wearing theatre scrubs anymore :-( He seems to know what's going on: apparently Mum is on her way from Frome to add support. This seems to be a good idea. I tell him it'll be okay. I'm okay. I'm not sure he's convinced. He tells me the baby is fine. I realise I haven't seen him for ages but there's not much I can do ........ Back into theatre for general anaesthetic number two. Is that another line going into my hand/wrist/arm? For heavens sake; how many do you need??? More hours lost. More feeling of disorientation, sore throat and an oxygen mask that keeps getting all steamed up and clammy. I'm told that the bleeding has been stopped, no hysterectomy was performed. Great can someone tell Rik please. Can I tell Rik I'm okay. He needs to know I'm okay. Can someone GET HIM please??!! You understand I can't actually say any of this - talking v difficult in these situations cos the throat is soooo dry - but it's what's going through my head. It seems to be an awfully long time before Rik is allowed in. And can I see my son now please?? Time probably passes. I'm wheeled off somewhere; to a room all to myself - things are looking up! Its got it's own bathroom and everything. However I now seem to have drips and "entry points" everywhere and everytime someone asks me how I am I say I feel like a human pincushion. Was it really necessary?? Not only do we have our own room but we seem to have our own nurse too - who's here all the time. Nicky is back with us though Rik is doing most, well all, of the care there. This annoys me. This child has been in the world for nearly a day and so far only Rik has done nappies and feeds - he's cup feeding formula. But hey the hospital now stock Aptamil (they didn't in 2006) so it's not all bad. When is it my turn? Various people come in and out; doctors and anaesthetists visit - in fact one anaesthetist was there several times. I'm sure I knew why at the time .... but I wonder now what he was doing. More drugs are pushed in through the various holes which have been opened up and I think some blood as well: medical staff don't seem to believe this HURTS! I've been given a morphine drip thingy which I am supposed to control myself. It gives doses every 5 minutes. Is this is a good thing for morphine? I try a couple of shots. After all my abdomen is feeling decidedly pummelled. Doesn't seem to make much difference so I stop using it and get told off by my nurse! There are various conversations between people in blue about what was or was not done in theatre which I find distinctly frustrating. Who cares what happened this morning?? That was then. Let's get on with now and can I have these drips out so that I can move and look after my baby??! I'm aware that Rik is sitting in a rocking chair and catching a few moments sleep every now and again. Poor love. He was supposed to be spending tonight in the hotel we'd been at on Sunday. Still I'm worried whether someone is looking after him? Are they? I think one the nurses offers to find him a bed or mattress or something but he says no. I keep asking if he's okay. After all I seem to have a flotilla of people checking up on me but he's got no-one.

Tuesday/Wednesday It's difficult to distinguish the next two days from each other as my recollections are all kind of jumbled up. Mostly we continue in the same vein (no pun!) as from Monday. People coming in and out. I think at least three consultants came to tell me what had happened on Monday - one of them was even my own! More intra-venous things including an iron-laden infusion which flippin killed in one hand; so they tried the other. Rik tells me that Mum, Dad and Dan are intending to come in on Tuesday afternoon and my sense of urgency to get some of these needles OUT increases. Dan is going to freak enough at my lying immobile without seeing these things sticking out of my hand, wrist and, yes neck. (incidentally that means I can hardly move said neck without painful pulling feeling). I am getting decidedly fed up with all this. Apparently I am impressing the staff at the amount of water I want to drink. Mostly this is just to try and keep my throat lubricated. Water is wonderful stuff! Hurray the needle in my neck is coming out and the arterial line. It's a start. Now how about the ones in each hand.....? Cos it's very hard to breastfeed with these venflons, particularly the ones attached to drips. Bored of that now!

Visitors arrive. Fab to see Dan. Understandable that he's a little freaked and doesn't want to sit beside me on the bed. Apparently he's already met Nick and thinks he's delightful. Mum and Dad look quite worried. I'm okay. I'm still here and not planning on going anywhere so can we just get on please. Rik asks if it's okay to leave. I say of course. He disappears off to the Premier Inn down the road for sleep. Nurses will bring me Nicky as and when I can cope. I just want these tubes out!!! Though now we have an interesting scenario. Everytime Rik goes away, another tube is removed. Maybe I should encourage him to keep going .. .and coming back obviously.

I try standing up and sitting in a chair. The chair is incredibly uncomfortable and makes my bum go numb. Is this most appropriate for a delivery suite room? Midwife agrees that the supply of such chairs was not St Michael's best decision ever! Amazing how knackering standing up and moving 5 feet is so I go back to bed and have a sleep. At some point enough tubes must have been removed as I try walking over to bathroom; with help. In itself the help is confusing. The first couple of times I move I have two midwives/nurses supporting me. The third time I try there is one nurse I've not seen before who says she is unable to support me for health and safety reasons. Well not sure I can do it by myself love! I realise that if I'm to get back to bed I'd better just get on with it.

Another night passes. I think Nicky was taken away at some point to allow me to sleep. Nurses and midwives all seem completely dippy about him but I suppose if you're working on delivery suite you don't see the little ones much after the initial arrival so it's probably quite novel for them. There are more discussions about what drugs I've had, what I should have and more doctors come to make sure I know what happened on Monday. Are they worried I'm going to sue for lack of information?? I even get a "social call" from Mr Mills just to see how I'm doing! He kind of reminds me of someone but I don't know who....... Discussions centre around whether or not I still need intra-venous drugs. The one remaining venflon kind of decides this for everyone when it refuses to accept any more liquid antibiotics and someone says I think we can move to oral drugs. I whole-heartedly agree!! One consultant has an idea that in order to avoid potential blood clots I should be self-injecting a blood thinner once I go home. I think I'd rather work on my mobility thanks all the same! I'll keep quiet and we'll see how we go......

Rik returns from the Premier Inn on Wednesday morning with a story about booking in, asking for a quiet room, getting one on the top floor, putting his bag down and then waking up on the floor 7 hours later. We may never know why his body didn't consider waiting for him to get to bed.....poor love. He's looking a little brighter though, perhaps spurred by the knowledge that I'm going up to the post-natal ward today. This must mean we're getting back on track. And indeed by Wednesday afternoon we're up on Ward 71 just round the corner from where I was when I had Dan. This is much more familiar though of course now I'm expected to be mobile, get my own dinner (and god lord the dining room is a long way away) and feed Nicky. The good news is no-one is hassling me about the fact that Nicky is still having some formula feeds. In fact everyone is quite positive about the whole thing.

And then it all gets quite pedestrian. the more I move, the easier it becomes. I'm missing my single room, particularly as the woman next to me seems to have given birth to the hell-child who can scream for England and does so on a regular basis. I wouldn't mind but this is woman's third child; surely she knows about these things by now! She does seem a little fazed by the whole thing though. The hospital dining room is producing some fabulous comfort food; beef casserole, meat pie, chips, mashed potato, rice pudding etc and joy of joys my breast milk seems to be working: and Nicky seems to have the hang of all the whole sucking thing much more than Dan did at that stage.

And if you're still reading this at this stage then you're incredibly dedicated or incredibly bored since it's gone on for ages. Friday afternoon they allowed me to come home and we really are back in the reality of new baby post-section recovery. The drugs I have been discharged with seem to bear no relation to the drugs which, according to my discharge summary, I'm supposed to be discharged with but hey, the extra injections thing seems to have gone by the wayside (apart from one which the midwife will do for me) so I'm not complaining. It would have been nice to actually get the codeine I'm supposed to be prescribed: not that I feel I need it but I do remember it is great for migraines and much better by itself than mixed with paracetamol. But hey.

So yes it was a traumatic week and yes it got a bit scary for a while there. But we got through it. It was just one of those things and I don't think I was ever at the point of being life-threatening. We go on from here ............
a reward for getting this far :-)

Our new Pad

For photos of the new house check out Facebook; in the meantime
check out this cool dude! (and the fabulous roses behind which overhang our pond ... complete with frogs - large and small!)